I agree, the RED engine is one of the more demanding engines I've seen in a while. From my testing/fooling around with it, I compared it to the engine's "Low Spec" (basically turns everything down to low, and disables just about everything) ran it, and got good framerates (25-40 using fraps). Then I set it to Nvidia's recommended settings, and framerates were cut in half. So I went through and looked at individual settings. I've found that if you want to make the game look better, but sacrifice as little as possible, just set it to Low Spec, then change Texture Downsizing to None, and Texture Memory Size to Large. This helps make things look much better with a small hit in performance.
I have mine set to:
Texture Downscaling: none
Texture Memory Size: Large
Shadow Quality: Medium
LOD Distance: Minimal
Bloom, Light Shafts, Anti-Aliasing, Blur Effects, SSAO, Motion Blur, Dangling Objects Limit, UberSampling, Decals and Vsync: Disabled
All Depth of Field Enabled, Vignette, Wet Surfaces enabled as well.
Running through the first bit of the Prologue has resulted in a playable experience for me while looking good. I don't like motion blur myself, that'swhy I have most things related to blur turned off.
I have a G53SX with the Core i7 Q2670M, Geforce 560M, and I've taken out the stock ram and put in some Mushkin Blackline RAM (DDR3 - 1600 spec), and upped the amount to 16GB. Making the switch to faster RAM has helped in Windows, in games, it's not really noticeable. Most of the games I end up playing are either Source engine or something a little more casual, and it works great for those games. This RED Engine though, I think it needs the full-powered components that a desktop machine can provide, or a bleeding-edge laptop.
Oh - and I've read that the steam version compared to the boxed or GOG version might have issues. If you have a Steam copy, you can use your CD Key and get a free backup copy at GOG. I'm running the GOG version. I can't see any real difference, but the GOG version isn't modified to work with Steam's platform. That may or may not make a difference.
Hope this helps a bit.