Clear cmos to get rid of any xmp sludge see manual on how to properly do this with jumpers or board features.
Don't use xmp it's over rated and if you do do not accept option to enable Multi core enhancement otherwise don't use xmp as you say it doesn't work TRY manual.
Just manually set tested latency timings
If same 3200C14 as the op they are 14-14-14-34 T2 is fine 1.35v for each dimm voltage.
VCCIO CPU 1.05v this setting gets exaggerated using xmp and or just increasing memory frequency so your board or cpu might not like it
VCCIO PCH 1.05v this one is just a why not it's the default voltage.
System agent offset mode 0.165 this is to limit a little what auto throws at it
Lastly try the last haswell-e bios right before broardwell-e bios was released for compatibility.